Humphrey Lyttelton
'Well, as the burnished chariot of fate is wheeled-clamped by the traffic warden of eternity...'
'...and so, as the Rock of Ages is cleft in twain by the karate chop of fate, I notice it has "Souvenir of Watford" written all the way through it...'
'...and so, as the short-sighted rhino of time attempts to mount the VW Beetle of eternity, and the rubber glove of hope gets lost in the Aberdeen Angus of destiny...'
'...and so, as the rare Bengal tiger of time meanders into the cross-hair sights of Prince Philip's fateful pump-action shot gun...'
'...and so, as the red-red-robin of time goes bob-bob-bobbing under the snowplough of eternity, and the sage and onion stuffing mixture of fate is rammed up the eternally unfrozen turkey of damnation...'
'We've reached the moment that never fails to bring a lump to the eye and a tear to the throat...'
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